I didn’t realize that my words had such an impact on those
around me. So allow me a moment to clear a few things up. I am at a literal
crossroads with my life. I have a unique job opportunity that could prove to be
highly lucrative but I’d have to leave a job in which I love the people I work
with. I need a clean break to discover my full potential and be able to explore
the states and maybe even the rest of the world but there has been someone who
refuses to let me go. I fear that I will lose his friendship and a part of my
life that was very developmental to me. I want happiness and success for everyone
including this friend but I don’t feel that he or I will ever achieve that if I’m
never allowed to leave my glided cage.
I want change, in fact I need it. Whether it is for the best or not, maybe it’s
time to quit always trying to “do the right thing” and live life as a normal
human being. I can make myself more than a number or a dusty file. I have to
break the mold and leave the pieces as they lie. So what if my life isn’t absolutely perfect
and I don’t have to leave things in order. What I do need to do is tell the
people around me how precious they are to me and why. The small things become
bigger and bigger with each post.
Even if it is something as small as a facebook post saying
they had a great day. Life isn’t perfect and maybe I need to come to the
realization that I could trail blaze the rest of my life or make mistakes and
not take it to heart.
I spend my nights pouring over dusty medical textbooks and
informational guides accompanied by the presence of water and maybe some static
noise. Is this the way I want to live the rest of my life? Or is it time to
break the cycle and step out of my graveyard decorated with Spanish moss?
Maybe it’s time to stop thinking of it as a graveyard of
failures and think of it as a monument of a life well lived. The sunlight makes
the moss seem like an ethereal gift from the angels above. Is this a sign to
change in my life is coming ? That an expanded life is possible? A life that would have many flaws that make
it beautiful, a life that is still growing like weeping wisteria over a hidden
doorway. I can reach my hand out and twist that gnarled doorknob. I can choose
bravery over cowardice. After all, doesn’t fortune favor the bold? Or do they
only reward gold shiny stars for trying?
See! You had someone all along! I think you have been too harsh in how you look at your life. You seem to be around many decent people and a friend that refuses to let you go seems like a rare find. So many friends are ones of convenience instead of substance. That is a lot to ever leave behind for just a job. Lots of people that hop around the globe get to see the world, but they live very lonely lives. Maybe its not all moss. Moss does not have roots and these sound like roots you have there.
ReplyDeleteYour right Haley, all along she has had someone, and I will always be there for her, I love her. I have had the pleasure to meet many of her great friends, and I look forward to seeing them again, because I consider them to be my friends also. But, this type of friend that refuses to let her go, is not a rare find(if we are thinking of the same person). Its such a vast world it would be convenient to have friends in more places than one. To say you leave a lot behind in pursuit of happiness for a better life, is too harsh. I have known many people who have traveled the globe and they are far from living lonely lives, and that is to include myself. I have made friends and have experienced so much thus far, with so much ahead of me and the best part is a lonely life is nowhere in sight. Although I am separated from family and the love of my life for now. I know, it will not be that way for long. You shouldn't categorize a lifestyle when you haven't lived it yourself. Your right its not Spanish moss, although Spanish moss does not have roots, it has scales that clings to its host, that spread by pups that they create and soar in the wind. But, taking a second glance, I see what Eden sees, weeping wisteria that is hiding a door that is a gift from one angel, that me and Eden both know very well, and that is Micheal. The door grows more visible by each passing day, it is ready to be opened. -Written by: Hansen Werner(Dream big, dare to fail-Norman Vaughn)
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