Hello Precious readers,
I'm back.....
It's been years since I last posted anything and believe it or not, it's been for the better. I brewed and stewed about what happened with Wanda. I even became afraid to step foot aside because deep down inside I felt as if only the bad was waiting out there for me. People pretending to have my interests at heart got a hard rejection.
It became a problem and nothing helped. When I did go outside, tragedy stuck and this time, there would be no safe place, no escape and no one to talk to but police and authority figures. Even the friends I held so precious, left me and in the end I simply got used to it. What was the point if they were all going to leave me in the first place?
I came to the superman problem. People absolutely love you, when you can save the day and make their world better. However, when things happen to me and I need it help you can almost see the smoke outline of where they used to be.
But that never bothered me too much because it happened so much that it fell into the category of rampant independence.
nut that's not really the way to go. I stopped. stopped writing, stopped painting and stop talking. after all what was the point? however, the last two years changed the way I thought. there are so many things out there that need the love that I kept locked away. for those of you who followed my blog, l knew that I had battled depression everyday. but this week I found the strangest thing. I was smiling.
It wasn't that fake smile I plastered on my face to get the day over and down with. I found my own happiness through all the death and rage.
I'm stumbling through my own emotional zeitgeist and missing the most important point. The reason I decided to start this blog to begin with and her name is Wanda.
so here is the low down. I was hired to set up an art gallery but it wasn't close to the truth. After kidnapping me, stalking me she attempted to sell e into sex industry and attempting to make my life a living hell; she became incarcerated. even though her locked away gave me a sense of peace that maybe she would never hurt anyone ever again.
It without a doubt allowed me to have the ability to trust anyone again or myself for that matter. It ruined my interpersonal for many years. Left me thinking that any kindness given to me was a manipulation tactic. it was only until I started working my present that I came to realize that being kind and being genuine wasn't necessarily cause a collapse.
I did come to find that Wanda did get released into in to the public and is attempting to do what she had one to me. I had to come a fork in the road. Do I go after her or do I let her go so that I can continue my work that has made me so happy?
It wasn't an easy choice. I choose happiness over the vulgar rage I still harbored.
Does this mean that I won't watch her like a hawk? I don't think I can give up that habit so easily. I will not give up on my own dreams for someone whose not fit enough to be dirt on my shoe but I won't allow someone who was as naïve as I was. I won't allow someone to get suckered into a terrifying sacrifice to chase a dream better place than one person serving on a silver plate.
So my precious readers,
Is it time to give up the ghost on an idea of vengeance?
