Silence from me is never a good thing:

                Alrighty folks this is the down low for what has been happening lately. I got a  job from the “embodiment of the American dream” and it lasted the grand total of a week.  I wasn’t fired but I didn’t quit.  It was a mutual parting and the job wasn’t what I had expected.  It was dealing with a shot gun situation that I had to roll with it and I could not roll. The only rolls I have are the ones on my stomach when I slouch. 

                I should have known when the first second I sat down in the office. I felt as if I was about to be reamed by the principle. Having spent a lot of time in that office I learned the smell and the essence of those four walls. I was handed my check and he said he was sorry. “I’d be a lot easier to do this for you were a prick,” he said quietly. “You’re a total sweet heart and I’m sorry.” I had gotten several job offers and recently one is working from home. This can help me to enjoy the needs of my being away from everyone but not having put on makeup. Even better is that I can’t ever be late for work.

Ever.

So this new job is working with money transfers online. $2300 a month (at the end of each month) plus an 8 percent commission and it would leave time for my writing open. That’s always a plus. Down side, I have probationary period. Have yet to get a task and it’s making me nervous. This seems like my dream job but in the meantime I’m looking for something partimish and I’m close to applying back at Hyvee.

Once I get this up and running I think I will feel better. But as of yet, I feel like a failure. I understand that what need is so small. So I have resorted to the following jobs, Foot fetish model and other various kinds of modeling. Yesterday I was supposed to be interviewed as a salesperson and unfortunately he was too busy to interview me.  I could feel how apologetic he was and after an hour and half of waiting I opted out for another day.

And I just called him so we will see how that goes. I don’t think I have ever had this much trouble with the job scene in my life. But then again I have never been very well when it comes to the part of my life. I feel like I keep looking for that one big break that will help me fit in again… or ever…

I’m so stressed out that even my body is telling me. My abscessed tooth returned, migraines came pack and my period is as consistent as my employment. If I had more time I would have pulled out my hair already.  Sleep is fleeting but my mind is ever so active. Except for when I have to get up and work. It’s the way of my world. I’ll feel better once I not only receive my first assignment but my first pay check. So the big question is, what the heck do I do now?